The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, and Change the Way You Lead Forever
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Description
Drawing on years of experience training more than 10,000 busy managers from around the globe in practical, everyday coaching skills, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unlock your peoples’ potential. He unpacks sevenessential coaching questions to demonstrate how–by saying less and asking more–you can develop coaching methods that produce great results.
- Get straight to the point in any conversation with The Kickstart Question
- Stay on track during any interaction with The Awe Question
- Save hours of time for yourself with The Lazy Question, and hours of time for others with The Strategic Question
- Get to the heart of any interpersonal or external challenge with The Focus Question and The Foundation Question
- Finally ensure others find your coaching as beneficial as you do with The Learning Question
A fresh innovative take on the traditional how-to manual, the book combines insider information with research based in neuroscience and behavioural economics, together with interactive training tools to turnpractical advice into practiced habits. Witty and conversational, The Coaching Habit takes your work–and your workplace–from good to great.
“Coaching is an art and it’s far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide and answer, or unleash a solution. giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part – how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice.” –Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
“Michael Bungay Stanier distills the essentials of coaching to seven core questions. And if you master his simple yet profound technique, you’ll get a two-fer. You’ll provide more effective support to your employeesand co-workers. And you may find that you become the ultimate coach for yourself.”
–Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“What can you do to become a better leader? Michael asks and answers this question by offering aspiring leaders seven thoughtful questions that will change their leadership habits. This book is full of practical,useful and interesting questions, ideas and tools that will guide any leader trying to be better.”
–Dave Ulrich, co-author of The Why of Work and The Leadership Code
“Michael’s intelligence, wit, articulateness and dedication to the craft of coaching shine forth in this brilliant how-to manual for anyone called to assist others. Even after four decades of my own experience in thisarena, The Coaching Habit has provided me with great takeaways.”
–David Allen, author of Getting Things Done
“The Coaching Habit is funny, smart, practical, memorable and rounded in currentbehavioural science. I found it highly valuable for my own work and collaborations.”
–James Slezak, Executive Director of Strategy, New York Times
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Reviews (8)
8 reviews for The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, and Change the Way You Lead Forever
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Ahmed Gahman –
A great book, however, I still think the GROW model is more relevant. This book was talking more about the conversation techniques – and also loved how he inserted Karpman Drama Triangle which could happen during coaching, yet the solution was missing in the book i.e. The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) by David Emerald.
Christian Riedhammer –
Coaching is an essential skill for leaders and in today’s complex, fast–paced business world a critical one too. But for most leaders, coaching employees is done badly, or not at all. Michael Bungay Stanier‘s book The Coaching Habit is a great read that makes a compelling case for the benefits of coaching employees and gives managers seven essential questions they can use to coach their employees in 10 minutes or less as well as tools to support their coaching.
The seven questions are
#1 What’s on your mind?
#2 And what else?
#3 What’s the real challenge here for you?
#4 What do you want?
#5 How can I help?
#6 If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
#7 What was most useful for you?
Michael wrote a book that will benefit those starting to consider the benefits of adopting a coaching style as part of their leadership skills-set. The book’s very readable, straightforward and full of tips and other resources. The reader’s also invited to explore Michael’s website and watch videos of examples of how to apply his approach in daily business.
And if you‘re uncomfortable with the process of coaching I think this book‘s also a very good starting point in order to improve your coaching skills.
Kindle Customer –
I liked the book it was an easy read with practical tips I can use right away. Would recommend it
samia –
As a first-time manager, I have found it extremely helpful and beneficial in navigating my new role. I have been utilizing the insights and strategies outlined in the book extensively, and I must say it has significantly contributed to my growth and development as a manager.
Amazon Customer –
Love it! Highly recommended for managers or people keen on acquiring coaching knowledge and put effective coaching into practice.
Isa Lee –
C’est un superbe livre pour les coaches. Il rappelle les questions simples et basiques du bon coach. L’écriture de Michael Bungay Stanier est en plus très drôle et facile à lire. J’ai dévoré ce livre, il fait partie de mes outils références que je continue de consulter de temps en temps. Je recommande vivement.
TilTuesdayGirl –
I originally ordered/received this book in January 2019. Despite best intentions, it landed on a shelf amidst other management style self-help type books (so many out there)….many purchased with those same best intentions only to languish on that shelf. But ‘finding the time’ to actually read them(???), ever the challenge.
That time recently manifested while between professional opportunities after deciding to walk away from a new but unfortunate, short-lived endeavor out of a 30-year career in leadership. In my effort to stay relevant, bolster skills and continue growing, I turned attention to those well intended books, consuming one or more daily. Besides, there are only so many cabinets, drawers and closets that I could reorganize in my house…it was time for some dedicated professional reading unlike rushed or half-hearted past efforts.
Apart from a great opportunity in self-development and reminder to do a better job ‘making’ versus ‘finding’ time going forward, The Coaching Habit was a true delight and page turner. He basically had me at ‘stop working so hard’. I finished it in a few hours.
It read easily with simple, straight-forward concepts and language. And, the content is well-organized into a logical flow of material and those chapters in delivering the information. I was encouraged and remained engaged in that the concepts were (1) not overly basic or elementary, (2) not unrealistic or off point, (3) not cliché, too cutesy, ‘hokey’ or preachy, and (4) not lost or overburdened amidst repetition, storytelling or humor. All while packaged in a clean, simple format, which flowed easily and was attractive aesthetically, free of overfilled, text laden pages or in smaller font (important for some of us).
Michael Bungay Stanier seamlessly correlates familiar workplace challenges and offers those in absorbable, useful bite-sized chunks with practical, specific approaches to counter or corral those and bring success. His delivery is very ‘real’, pragmatic and resourceful. It was especially insightful to distinguish between coaching for performance versus coaching for development. His recognition of best intentions from The Advice Monster and roles within the Drama Triangle offered keen insights and perspective, including how these trip us up in our professional (or personal) relationships – most importantly how to increase self-awareness and better self-manage those.
The Coaching Habit references multiple other helpful resources, including credible recommendations for related literature or publications (appreciating the author’s including those, making them pertinent, sharing his observations and/or quoting specific items). I’ve ordered a few of those, which will not land on my shelf this time. The author is exceptionally well read in the genre, indicating he reads an estimated 100 business books a year. I’ve joined his LinkedIn group and downloaded a couple of goodies (via link) included among the book as well. I highly recommend The Coaching Habit.
Wally Bock –
You should buy and read The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier if you’re interested in improving your performance as a manager and your team’s performance and morale.
If you’re reading this review of a book on coaching for managers, you probably fall into one of two camps. You might be a manager who’s already doing some coaching or you’re a manager who hasn’t made coaching part of your toolkit yet.
You may already have made coaching part of the way you manage. If that’s true. you can skip over the next section of this review and get right to why this book will be an excellent addition to the other coaching books you own.
It’s also possible because you’re interested in adding coaching to your manager’s toolkit and you’re seeking a good book to get you started. Then the next few paragraphs are for you.
The benefits of coaching are pretty straightforward and well documented. A boss who coaches his or her team members effectively will have a more productive team, have higher team morale, and will have a more enjoyable work life. OK, so why aren’t you doing it already? My experience suggests that there are three possible reasons.
You may think that the coaching that managers do and the coaching that sports coaches do is the same. Nope. Sports coaches do a lot of telling and don’t ask many questions. The art of the coaching manager is the art of the question.
Or, you may think that the coaching that managers do and the coaching that professional executive coaches do is the same. Nope. Professional coaches are a godsend for us. But they’re professionals with a bag full of professional tools and expertise. Coaching with them is an event that you put on your calendar. The art of the coaching manager is coaching “in the workflow” several times a day. That’s why it should be a habit.
Or, you may think that the coaching that managers do requires deep knowledge of psychology and coaching theory. Nope. The fact is that all the great supervisors I studied coached routinely without a bit of specialized training. Heck, my mother used to do it with me and my sister.
They all asked something like: “Why do you think that happened?” or “What do you want to do?” and then listened. It was all about conversation and part of the normal flow of life and work.
That’s what this book is about. Ask more. Say less. Simple enough that this preacher’s boy can get it. Here are the details.
What’s in this book?
Coaching is simple. So is this book. Coaching is lean. So is this book.
The first chapter is about why you need the coaching habit. The second chapter is about creating the coaching habit. Yes, habit, something you do reflexively several times every work day. The advice in this chapter is based on real science, not that nonsense about “28 days.”
The next seven chapters are about seven questions you can ask Just seven and that’s enough. There are “Master Classes” that help you ask the questions effectively. There are pointers to videos and podcasts and other helps.
Still not sure? Well, there’s good news. Check out the “Look Inside the Book” feature for the Kindle version of this book. That will give you the “Why” you’ll need to judge if the book is for you
Bottom Line: Five Stars
If you’ve already read several books on coaching, this book and the advice on habit building will be a wonderful addition to your library.
If you’re trying to figure out if coaching will help you and how to get started, this is the perfect book to buy, read, and use.